the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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