babies were throwing up all over the place
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
