Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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