i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
