Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
