Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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