I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
