the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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