Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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