Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
