I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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