Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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