I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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