on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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