u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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