Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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