the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
