is your mom at the bar?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
