I puked a lego.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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