I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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