yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
