Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I supernannyed him into submission
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
