His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
they need to just BURY HIM!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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