Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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