Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
