Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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(214): View more from Texas

New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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(330): View more from Ohio

i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

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(720): View more from Colorado

Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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(713): View more from Texas

Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems

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