wanna go halves on a baby?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
