i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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