Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
