would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
