just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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