"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
