look no pants
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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