Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize