My girlfriend figured out who you are.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize