I seem to have left my pride at pride
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
