Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
