I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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