We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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