I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
