I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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