security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
