His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
