Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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