Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
