You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
