i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
