I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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