Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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