took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
