Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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