Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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