You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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