Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
