please come you make the beer taste better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
