If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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