i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
