i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
