apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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