You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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