I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My dad is sitting where you rode me