i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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