But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
