what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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