he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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