isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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