worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
